What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
