Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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