My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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