this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
