Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
