Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She's the barista slut.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
