so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
