imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
