Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
