Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
