Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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