At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
