Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
