Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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