you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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