I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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