at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
