looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
