I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
