he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think i got beer on your cat.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
