So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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