Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
