But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
