I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
