its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
