am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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