tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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