He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
