I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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