Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
