break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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