Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
