Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
