im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize