then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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