They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
