I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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