Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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