let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
