aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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