I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
