Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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