Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
