You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
