Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
