I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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