I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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