Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
