Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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