he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
