I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
