kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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