It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
