You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I want to walk on stilts...naked
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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